Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
