FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
