She's JV to your varsity
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
