He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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