dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
PANTIES FOUND
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
