what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How does it feel to date your dad?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm having to shit out rocks
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
