He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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