pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
