Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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