i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
