Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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