Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
