At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
