You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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