Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
