It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
