I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
