tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
