Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
