Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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