Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
