If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
