the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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