my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
