She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
