Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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