Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
