I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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