They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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