i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
