it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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