brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
this is an emotional support booty call
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
