Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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