I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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