I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Randomize
