i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
