She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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