There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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