Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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