I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
