Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
