Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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