my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
