What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
