i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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