well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
