My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
