i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
