gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
