How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
time to smoke my breakfast
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
